After 30 years in public education, I've retired! I am now the President of AARP Chapter #1, in Youngtown, Az. - the 1st Chapter ever 'to Serve, not to be Served!' I offer important information, challenging opinions, and inane humor.
Please spread the word about this blog-site, so that others may avail themselves of my assistance. I will do my best to provide a voice - even if it is only MY voice! This is Az I See It....if you can handle the TRUTH!
Az I see it....for those who can handle the TRUTH!
Az I Laugh At It....
- Nick and Bernie were on the first tee, when they noticed two women approaching. "My God!" exclaimed Nick. "Here comes my wife and mistress!" "Good Heavens!" moaned Bernie. "You took the words right out of my mouth!"
- Arizona's severely-restrictive, newly-passed, anti-abortion legislation includes a little-publicized provision that a mother must noify her husband AND the baby's father!
- Arizona's severely-restrictive, newly-passed, anti-abortion legislation includes a little-publicized provision that a mother must noify her husband AND the baby's father!
As I Use It....
- The PHoenix Area Rapid Transit(PHART) light-rail has increased the daily-fare passes(expiring at midnight) to $3.50 each, from $2.50, citing increased costs, regardless of the unexpected high-level of ridership. Downtown nightlife establishments are delighted that the hours of operation will soon extend to 2:00am, from the present 12 midnight.
So, you purchase your pass at....let's say.... 8pm, head downtown to party, and you finally leave the Cooperstown bar at 1:30am. Do you have to purchase another pass? Can you even fumble into your wallet or purse and then operate the ticket machine? Isn't that why you chose to PHART in the first place? Even separate one-way passes would cost more than a single all-day pass. Never trust a PHART!
So, you purchase your pass at....let's say.... 8pm, head downtown to party, and you finally leave the Cooperstown bar at 1:30am. Do you have to purchase another pass? Can you even fumble into your wallet or purse and then operate the ticket machine? Isn't that why you chose to PHART in the first place? Even separate one-way passes would cost more than a single all-day pass. Never trust a PHART!
Az I See It....
Prologue: Yes - there IS a cure for your 'affliction.' The medical term for it is 'intelligence!' - Dr. Gregory House
International: Newly released transcripts of interviews with former Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein indicate that he 'cried wolf' once too often, when claiming possession of weapons of mass destruction, in an attempt to shield Iraq's military weaknesses from an ever-threatening Irani government! OOPS - MY BAD!
National: Arizona Senator John McCain blasted President Obama, on the issue of proposed single-payer medical provisions, claiming it would lead to more-costly, lower-quality health care. Then he discreetly signed for his FREE Alzheimer's medication!....McCain reminds me of a creepy, old codger who would kick the birds in the park, after throwing them a few breadcrumbs to lure them in!(Yeah, I'm alluding to YOU, citizens of the Great State of Ah-Said-I-Own-Ya!
State: Arizona's lethal injection protocol was upheld by the courts, allowing for the resumption of all previously-stayed executions, and others than can now be scheduled!....Governor Brewer says is holding out for more K-12 funding, before agreeing to the 2010 budget, so the legislature has been called-back into special session, requiring tens of thousands of taxpayer dollars, weekly, for extra pay and per diems, etc. Oh, yeah - and she is demanding a sales tax increase. Says it's good for our 'affliction.'
Epilogue: This morning I was buttoning my shirt and a button fell off. After that, I picked up my briefcase and the handle fell off. Then, when I opened the door, my doorknob fell off in my hand! Now, I'm afraid to pee!
International: Newly released transcripts of interviews with former Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein indicate that he 'cried wolf' once too often, when claiming possession of weapons of mass destruction, in an attempt to shield Iraq's military weaknesses from an ever-threatening Irani government! OOPS - MY BAD!
National: Arizona Senator John McCain blasted President Obama, on the issue of proposed single-payer medical provisions, claiming it would lead to more-costly, lower-quality health care. Then he discreetly signed for his FREE Alzheimer's medication!....McCain reminds me of a creepy, old codger who would kick the birds in the park, after throwing them a few breadcrumbs to lure them in!(Yeah, I'm alluding to YOU, citizens of the Great State of Ah-Said-I-Own-Ya!
State: Arizona's lethal injection protocol was upheld by the courts, allowing for the resumption of all previously-stayed executions, and others than can now be scheduled!....Governor Brewer says is holding out for more K-12 funding, before agreeing to the 2010 budget, so the legislature has been called-back into special session, requiring tens of thousands of taxpayer dollars, weekly, for extra pay and per diems, etc. Oh, yeah - and she is demanding a sales tax increase. Says it's good for our 'affliction.'
Epilogue: This morning I was buttoning my shirt and a button fell off. After that, I picked up my briefcase and the handle fell off. Then, when I opened the door, my doorknob fell off in my hand! Now, I'm afraid to pee!
Az I Laugh At It....
- You heard it here first:
The Arizona legislature failed to pass a law defining illegal immigration as a criminal offense. They did pass a law allowing concealed weapons to be brought into establishments that serve alcohol. It'll be interesting when the two parties meet, ie., An illegal immigrant walks into a bar and says, "Gimme a shot!"....
The Arizona legislature failed to pass a law defining illegal immigration as a criminal offense. They did pass a law allowing concealed weapons to be brought into establishments that serve alcohol. It'll be interesting when the two parties meet, ie., An illegal immigrant walks into a bar and says, "Gimme a shot!"....
Adz I Need It....
- StarvingRtist Penelope(Penny) McIntosh has what you need for any and all video and photographic production and editing services. I met her through the ROTC program at ASU, where she has created many superb productions for a variety of university programs and events. Check out her fascinating web page: www.penelopemcintosh.com You'll be as impressed as Linda and I were! Thank you, Penny! You have created many treasured memories for 2nd Lt. Archangel Muscato and his family!
Az I See It....
Prologue: Middle school-aged youths exhibit some of the filthiest language I've ever heard!(Parents????)
National: Republican legislators are opposed to giving American citizens access to the same medical insurance that the taxpayers afford to Congress. They claim it will cost too much, and may then jeopardize their own continued FREE and LIMITLESS medical benefits!....Phoenix is still the fifth-largest city in the nation, along with the fifth-lowest per capita income!....A Burger King ad portrays an open-mouthed woman about to glom onto an elongated sub sandwich, with the caption "It'll Blow Your Mind Away!" Puritans are up-in-arms over this sexual innuendo, but I seem to hear the word 'screwed' on almost every television program being used as a euphemism for the 'F' word, with NO resultant protests! Blows your mind away, doesn't it?....GM and Chrysler sales plummeted again, in June, as both corporations refuse to accept the fact that their products are over-priced, and can only be afforded by those who drive Mercedes!....Some male researchers are indicating that a daily dose of sex will prolong men's lives. Womnen researchers were hung up on the word 'prolong!'
State: Ah, yes....the budget! Why do Arizona citizens NOT want a temporary 1% sales tax increase to balance the 2010 budget? Because it is much easier to extend an tax increase than it is to create one. This legislature does not deserve more of our money, as they have mismanaged and squandered what we've already given them. It's not that we don't trust them - we JUST ---- DON"T ---- TRUST THEM!....If the state's operations shut down, government services such as investigation of some crimes, will also cease - like the investigation of the state legislature in withholding the budget from the governor, allowing vital humanitarian services to shut down!....Renewable energy corporations and other commercial entities await relocation tax-break incentives, by the state legislature. Interestingly, none of them ever provide their employees better wages and benefits, or pass their saving on to consumers!....
Local: Some valley cities are considering tapping into their 'rainy day funds' to ease the effects of budget shortfalls. Excuse me? Cities have available funds that they are hesitant to use in these catastrophic economic times? Just goes to show - Phoenix metro is just a small town with a lot of people!....Basha's has announced that it will close some 'underperforming' stores, costing 300 jobs. There was a time that Basha's prices were highly competitive, and I spent most of my food dollars there. Now, slae prices seem to be higher than other grocery chains' regular pricing!
Epilogue: Al Franken will finally be sworn in as the junior senator from Minnesota. I remember when Al, short and squatty, and Tom Davis, taller and leaner - were 'the duo that weighed the same.' And then there was Stuart Smalley, on SNL, and his daily, self-affirmation. I think Minnesotans, doggone it, will really like him!
National: Republican legislators are opposed to giving American citizens access to the same medical insurance that the taxpayers afford to Congress. They claim it will cost too much, and may then jeopardize their own continued FREE and LIMITLESS medical benefits!....Phoenix is still the fifth-largest city in the nation, along with the fifth-lowest per capita income!....A Burger King ad portrays an open-mouthed woman about to glom onto an elongated sub sandwich, with the caption "It'll Blow Your Mind Away!" Puritans are up-in-arms over this sexual innuendo, but I seem to hear the word 'screwed' on almost every television program being used as a euphemism for the 'F' word, with NO resultant protests! Blows your mind away, doesn't it?....GM and Chrysler sales plummeted again, in June, as both corporations refuse to accept the fact that their products are over-priced, and can only be afforded by those who drive Mercedes!....Some male researchers are indicating that a daily dose of sex will prolong men's lives. Womnen researchers were hung up on the word 'prolong!'
State: Ah, yes....the budget! Why do Arizona citizens NOT want a temporary 1% sales tax increase to balance the 2010 budget? Because it is much easier to extend an tax increase than it is to create one. This legislature does not deserve more of our money, as they have mismanaged and squandered what we've already given them. It's not that we don't trust them - we JUST ---- DON"T ---- TRUST THEM!....If the state's operations shut down, government services such as investigation of some crimes, will also cease - like the investigation of the state legislature in withholding the budget from the governor, allowing vital humanitarian services to shut down!....Renewable energy corporations and other commercial entities await relocation tax-break incentives, by the state legislature. Interestingly, none of them ever provide their employees better wages and benefits, or pass their saving on to consumers!....
Local: Some valley cities are considering tapping into their 'rainy day funds' to ease the effects of budget shortfalls. Excuse me? Cities have available funds that they are hesitant to use in these catastrophic economic times? Just goes to show - Phoenix metro is just a small town with a lot of people!....Basha's has announced that it will close some 'underperforming' stores, costing 300 jobs. There was a time that Basha's prices were highly competitive, and I spent most of my food dollars there. Now, slae prices seem to be higher than other grocery chains' regular pricing!
Epilogue: Al Franken will finally be sworn in as the junior senator from Minnesota. I remember when Al, short and squatty, and Tom Davis, taller and leaner - were 'the duo that weighed the same.' And then there was Stuart Smalley, on SNL, and his daily, self-affirmation. I think Minnesotans, doggone it, will really like him!
The Reel Deal
Public Enemy(rated R) - starring Johnny Depp, Marion Cotillard, Christian Bale, and a host of others!
Anyone can search the internet for the story of bank robber John Dillinger - the first Public Enemy No. 1 - but this film chronicles the 1930's, J. Edgar Hoover and the birth of the FBI! This depiction of an era of depression and lawlessness(Hmmmm....familiar?), combined with legislative inaction and political corruption at all levels(Hmmmm....familiar?) is on-the-edge-of-your-seat intense and fascinating. Depp and Cotillard make this story passionate, as Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway did for Bonnie and Clyde. You'll love this film, but I'd recommend that you see it at daytime rates, though, because any theater that charges $9.00 is highway robbery!
Anyone can search the internet for the story of bank robber John Dillinger - the first Public Enemy No. 1 - but this film chronicles the 1930's, J. Edgar Hoover and the birth of the FBI! This depiction of an era of depression and lawlessness(Hmmmm....familiar?), combined with legislative inaction and political corruption at all levels(Hmmmm....familiar?) is on-the-edge-of-your-seat intense and fascinating. Depp and Cotillard make this story passionate, as Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway did for Bonnie and Clyde. You'll love this film, but I'd recommend that you see it at daytime rates, though, because any theater that charges $9.00 is highway robbery!
Az I Laugh At It....
- Bathroom tip: Ladies - to eliminate scum in the shower, don't let him spend the night!
- Feeling sad and lonely, Joey went for a drive, stopping in an out-of-the-way town. He walked into a a homey little restaurant, sat down, and asked for some meatloaf and a kind word. Upon bringing the meatloaf, Joey asked the waitress, "Okay, so where's the kind word?" The waitress leaned close and whispered, "Don't eat the meatloaf!"
- PJ put his two dollars into the vending machine, and watched helplessly as the cup failed to appear, and a nozzle sent the coffee down the drain, while another poured cream after it. "Now that's automation!" PJ exclaimed. "It even drinks it for you!"
- Louie was on his first trip to Las Vegas, and trying to play a slot machine. "Excuse me," he asked a casino worker. "How does this work?" The worker showed him how to insert a bill, hit the spin button, and operate the release handle. "And where does the money come out?" asked Louie. The worker replied, "Usually at the ATM!"
- Feeling sad and lonely, Joey went for a drive, stopping in an out-of-the-way town. He walked into a a homey little restaurant, sat down, and asked for some meatloaf and a kind word. Upon bringing the meatloaf, Joey asked the waitress, "Okay, so where's the kind word?" The waitress leaned close and whispered, "Don't eat the meatloaf!"
- PJ put his two dollars into the vending machine, and watched helplessly as the cup failed to appear, and a nozzle sent the coffee down the drain, while another poured cream after it. "Now that's automation!" PJ exclaimed. "It even drinks it for you!"
- Louie was on his first trip to Las Vegas, and trying to play a slot machine. "Excuse me," he asked a casino worker. "How does this work?" The worker showed him how to insert a bill, hit the spin button, and operate the release handle. "And where does the money come out?" asked Louie. The worker replied, "Usually at the ATM!"
As I Use It....
- Okay, so I tried to 'go green,' against my better judgment. About two years ago, I replaced almost all of the incandescent lightbulbs in my house with CFLs, being told to expect lower utility bills and assisting the environment. CFLs typically cost three to five times more than incandescent bulbs, but the package claims they will last five times longer!
After about one year, some CFLs began to fail - not a good sign, after some family members(including me) were already pissed-off that they usually take awhile to attain full brightness. Then I was told one should not just dispose of the bulbs, but rather recycle them, because of a trace of toxic mercury in the manufacturing process.
After the sixth bulb died the other day, I decided to call the distributor(why did it take me so long?), and was told that to truly 'go green' and achieve full economic benefit from CFLs, a CFL-specific ballast should be installed, ie., new lighting fixtures, so in newly-built homes this would be more feasible(not to mention even more expensive), and that the bulbs are guaranteed for only two years from date-of-purchase, even if they do not outlast the incandescents that lasted 15 to 18 years(Thankfully, I've saved them!)! And imagine my surprise when the agent recited my name, address, telephone number, and date and place of purchase, when I read a series of numbers from a burned-out bulb - all evidently recorded and kept on file from my credit card transaction!
In a nutshell, CFLs will NOT last as long as incandescents; the warranty will NOT outlast the product; and you should NOT dispose of them in your regular trash(Home Depot will recycle them, while Lowe's employees tell me they accept them and then simply throw them in the trash!) Lights out!
After about one year, some CFLs began to fail - not a good sign, after some family members(including me) were already pissed-off that they usually take awhile to attain full brightness. Then I was told one should not just dispose of the bulbs, but rather recycle them, because of a trace of toxic mercury in the manufacturing process.
After the sixth bulb died the other day, I decided to call the distributor(why did it take me so long?), and was told that to truly 'go green' and achieve full economic benefit from CFLs, a CFL-specific ballast should be installed, ie., new lighting fixtures, so in newly-built homes this would be more feasible(not to mention even more expensive), and that the bulbs are guaranteed for only two years from date-of-purchase, even if they do not outlast the incandescents that lasted 15 to 18 years(Thankfully, I've saved them!)! And imagine my surprise when the agent recited my name, address, telephone number, and date and place of purchase, when I read a series of numbers from a burned-out bulb - all evidently recorded and kept on file from my credit card transaction!
In a nutshell, CFLs will NOT last as long as incandescents; the warranty will NOT outlast the product; and you should NOT dispose of them in your regular trash(Home Depot will recycle them, while Lowe's employees tell me they accept them and then simply throw them in the trash!) Lights out!
Az I See It....
Prologue: Michael Jackson's body will be melted-down and made into Lego's, so that little boys can play with him!
International: In Iran, 'the pen is mightier than the sword' still requires someone to die!....The United Nations has determined that they have no control over terrorism and nuclear proliferation, in Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran, the Sudan, and North Korea, so they will launch an investigation into Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio's alleged civil rights violations during his illegal-immigration sweeps!....Paper or plastic? In Uganda, using a plastic bag can result in a 3-year prison sentence and a $1,500 fine. Where's Idi when you need him?
State/Local: Speed camera contracts may be allowed to expire, as some Arizona legislators feel the intrusion(more than was initially admitted) is reminiscent of George Orwell's novel '1984!'....The Arizona legislature has passed a law that Gov. Jan Brewer says she will sign, mandating consultation for alternatives - with wife and attorney - and a 24 hour waiting period before senators have adulterous sex! Oh, yeah, and the same goes for women wanting abortions!....Once again, teachers and Arizona Education Association representatives picketed the state legislature for expected cuts in education funding. And, once again, no further meaningful actions will ever occur. Aside from a short mention on the evening news, no one seemed to notice or care about the budget plight that will adversely affect the already worst education in the United States. Oh, yeah - did you notice that not one administrator showed support for Arizona's most-highly degreed and underpaid profession?
Epilogue: Members of Congress should be required to wear uniforms, like NASCAR drivers, so we can identify their corporate 'sponsors!'
International: In Iran, 'the pen is mightier than the sword' still requires someone to die!....The United Nations has determined that they have no control over terrorism and nuclear proliferation, in Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran, the Sudan, and North Korea, so they will launch an investigation into Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio's alleged civil rights violations during his illegal-immigration sweeps!....Paper or plastic? In Uganda, using a plastic bag can result in a 3-year prison sentence and a $1,500 fine. Where's Idi when you need him?
State/Local: Speed camera contracts may be allowed to expire, as some Arizona legislators feel the intrusion(more than was initially admitted) is reminiscent of George Orwell's novel '1984!'....The Arizona legislature has passed a law that Gov. Jan Brewer says she will sign, mandating consultation for alternatives - with wife and attorney - and a 24 hour waiting period before senators have adulterous sex! Oh, yeah, and the same goes for women wanting abortions!....Once again, teachers and Arizona Education Association representatives picketed the state legislature for expected cuts in education funding. And, once again, no further meaningful actions will ever occur. Aside from a short mention on the evening news, no one seemed to notice or care about the budget plight that will adversely affect the already worst education in the United States. Oh, yeah - did you notice that not one administrator showed support for Arizona's most-highly degreed and underpaid profession?
Epilogue: Members of Congress should be required to wear uniforms, like NASCAR drivers, so we can identify their corporate 'sponsors!'
Az I Laugh At It....
- "I demand a raise!" PJ said to his boss. "Three other companies are after me!" "Is that so?" asked the boss. "What companies are after you?" PJ replied, "The gas company, the electric company, and the telephone company!"
- Shy little Susie went to her first school dance, and it took her a l ong time to ask little Nicky to dance. "No," said little Nicky. "I'm very particular about who I dance with!" "Well," replied little Susie. "You can damn well see that I'm not!"
- An old hillbilly carried a young hillbly into the hospital ER, and said, "See if you c'n patch 'im up good. I shot up his rear end like it was a tail on a possum. Don't hurt 'im none, cause he's my son-in-law!" The ER doc asked, "Why would you shoot your son-in-law?" The hillbilly replied, "He warn't my son-in-law when I shot 'im!"
- Shy little Susie went to her first school dance, and it took her a l ong time to ask little Nicky to dance. "No," said little Nicky. "I'm very particular about who I dance with!" "Well," replied little Susie. "You can damn well see that I'm not!"
- An old hillbilly carried a young hillbly into the hospital ER, and said, "See if you c'n patch 'im up good. I shot up his rear end like it was a tail on a possum. Don't hurt 'im none, cause he's my son-in-law!" The ER doc asked, "Why would you shoot your son-in-law?" The hillbilly replied, "He warn't my son-in-law when I shot 'im!"
Az I AARP It....
- AARP and President Obama pushed for medical and Medicare reforms, and has led pharmaceutical companies to offer $80B to reduce the costs of drugs for seniors. Really" They have $80B laying around? That is a bitter pill to swallow!
- Overheard at an AARP meeting:
"I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it!"
"I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart!"
"Funny - I don't remember being absent-minded!"
"If all is not lost, where is it?"
"It is easier to get older than wiser!"
"It's not the pace of life that concerns me, it's the sudden stop at the end!"
- Overheard at an AARP meeting:
"I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it!"
"I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart!"
"Funny - I don't remember being absent-minded!"
"If all is not lost, where is it?"
"It is easier to get older than wiser!"
"It's not the pace of life that concerns me, it's the sudden stop at the end!"
Az I See It....
Prologue: 57% of American adults have never lived outside the state in which they were born. 37% haven't moved from their home town!
International: Irani officials admit to stuffing ballot boxes, with some areas reporting more votes than there are people, according to Mahmoud Daley, of Chicago, Iran!....The U.S. has more citizens imprisoned than any other country in the world. Well, sure - in most other countries, they kill their convicted criminals! Some do not wait for conviction!
National: Many major corporations are still reporting drastic drops in profits, but they are not 'losing money.' They are just not as profitable as before!....Citigroup has found a loophole for having to accept the restrictions that are mandated for accepting federal bailout money. Since they are unable to award bonuses, they have decided to raise salaries - some by as much as 50% - to compensate 'invaluable employees.'(It takes an idiot to raise a Citi!)....South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford was exposed for cheating on his wife, after staff members had reported that he was '...away, hiking in Argentina.' Actually, he was exploring a Brazillian!....Rapper Chris Brown's guilty-plea-bargain, for brutally beating his ex-girlfriend Rhianna, and was sentenced to 5 years probation and two double-platinum albums!....President Obama caught and killed a fly, while doing a televised interview, and the animal rights advocates from P.E.T.A. are enraged! Really? For a fly? Remember, flies can transmit numerous infectious diseases to humans, and that is why the fly-swatter was created - and for idiot P.E.T.A. advocates!
State: The legislature has declined to pass a law prohibiting texting-while-driving, with most opposers citing the need to further distract drivers as they pass through speed-camera areas!....A senate committee advanced a bill that would require schools to report numerous data on students who are attending as illegal residents. Opponents contend that it may lead to discrimination and deterring some parents from enrolling their children. Yeah - if they're illegal!....Another committee will waste time and more taxpayer money to determine the monetary effects of the illegal's in schools. You know, like the decades old lawsuit that is seeking $400M in taxpayer money for ESL funding, while the state already spends $40M annually for these same mostly illegal-resident students!
Local: The Maricopa County Board of Supervisors has finally backed-down, and will allow County Attorney Andrew Thomas, and Sheriff Arpaio to receive $1.4M in funds specifically to enforce illegal immigration laws! And new legislation will force all communities/entities to disallow any 'sanctuary' privileges to illegals!
Epilogue: 'Women make a difference everywhere in the world, keeping men as civilized as possible!' - Linda M.
International: Irani officials admit to stuffing ballot boxes, with some areas reporting more votes than there are people, according to Mahmoud Daley, of Chicago, Iran!....The U.S. has more citizens imprisoned than any other country in the world. Well, sure - in most other countries, they kill their convicted criminals! Some do not wait for conviction!
National: Many major corporations are still reporting drastic drops in profits, but they are not 'losing money.' They are just not as profitable as before!....Citigroup has found a loophole for having to accept the restrictions that are mandated for accepting federal bailout money. Since they are unable to award bonuses, they have decided to raise salaries - some by as much as 50% - to compensate 'invaluable employees.'(It takes an idiot to raise a Citi!)....South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford was exposed for cheating on his wife, after staff members had reported that he was '...away, hiking in Argentina.' Actually, he was exploring a Brazillian!....Rapper Chris Brown's guilty-plea-bargain, for brutally beating his ex-girlfriend Rhianna, and was sentenced to 5 years probation and two double-platinum albums!....President Obama caught and killed a fly, while doing a televised interview, and the animal rights advocates from P.E.T.A. are enraged! Really? For a fly? Remember, flies can transmit numerous infectious diseases to humans, and that is why the fly-swatter was created - and for idiot P.E.T.A. advocates!
State: The legislature has declined to pass a law prohibiting texting-while-driving, with most opposers citing the need to further distract drivers as they pass through speed-camera areas!....A senate committee advanced a bill that would require schools to report numerous data on students who are attending as illegal residents. Opponents contend that it may lead to discrimination and deterring some parents from enrolling their children. Yeah - if they're illegal!....Another committee will waste time and more taxpayer money to determine the monetary effects of the illegal's in schools. You know, like the decades old lawsuit that is seeking $400M in taxpayer money for ESL funding, while the state already spends $40M annually for these same mostly illegal-resident students!
Local: The Maricopa County Board of Supervisors has finally backed-down, and will allow County Attorney Andrew Thomas, and Sheriff Arpaio to receive $1.4M in funds specifically to enforce illegal immigration laws! And new legislation will force all communities/entities to disallow any 'sanctuary' privileges to illegals!
Epilogue: 'Women make a difference everywhere in the world, keeping men as civilized as possible!' - Linda M.
Az I Play It....
- Shaquille O'Neal is being traded to Cleveland, a move that will legitemize the Cavalier's chances to win the NBA's Eastern Conference, in 2010. Shaq should now pick up the moniker 'The Great Lake Effect.' You read it here first!
- I'm tired of hearing Phil Mickelson say that 'we will receive treatment for beat cancer in early July.' There is no WE. Will he be affected? Yes! But c'mon, Phil. Man-up! You may only have effects - NOT the treatment!
- I'm tired of hearing Phil Mickelson say that 'we will receive treatment for beat cancer in early July.' There is no WE. Will he be affected? Yes! But c'mon, Phil. Man-up! You may only have effects - NOT the treatment!
Az I Laugh At It....
- Jody was being interviewed by the owner of a small business firm. "I need an accountant, with a CPA. I worry about a lot of things, but I do not want to worry about money. The Job pays $85K per year," said the owner. Jody asked, "How can such a small business afford a sum like that for an accountant?" "That," the owner replied, "is your first worry!"
- Alec came home from school rather depressed. "What's the matter?" asked his dad. "It's my grades," said Alec. "They're all wet!" "What do you mean?" asked his dad. "You know," replied Alec. "They're below C-level!"
- Sharon and George went to the department store. "Go ahead," said George. "I'll meet up with you later, Sharon." After a couple of hours, George returned to find Sharon with two overflowing carts of clothes and household items. "Have you bought ALL of that?" protested George. "Don't complain," said Sharon. "Look at everything I've left behind!"
- Alec came home from school rather depressed. "What's the matter?" asked his dad. "It's my grades," said Alec. "They're all wet!" "What do you mean?" asked his dad. "You know," replied Alec. "They're below C-level!"
- Sharon and George went to the department store. "Go ahead," said George. "I'll meet up with you later, Sharon." After a couple of hours, George returned to find Sharon with two overflowing carts of clothes and household items. "Have you bought ALL of that?" protested George. "Don't complain," said Sharon. "Look at everything I've left behind!"
Az I Laugh At It....
- PJ went to the doctor for the final check-up, following heart bypass surgery. "When can I have sex, again, Doc?" asked an eager PJ. The doctor replied, "When you can climb two flights of stairs without becoming winded." PJ implored, "Can't I just look for women who live on the ground floor?"
- Sharon told George that for her anniversary present to him, he could do anything he wanted with her - so he sent her home to her mother!(She still isn't speaking to him!)
- Sharon told George that for her anniversary present to him, he could do anything he wanted with her - so he sent her home to her mother!(She still isn't speaking to him!)
Az I See It....
Prologue: Cellphone numbers will soon go public, and be available for telemarketers. If you do not wish to have it, or your landline, exposed to unsolicited calls, register any and all numbers with the National Do Not Call Registry - 888-382-1222(Thanks, Kelly P!)
International: Murdered officials in Iraq and Pakistan spark outrage among their citizens. Murdered citizens spark outrage only when at the hands of American GIs. Murdered American GIs are accepted - sometimes cheered - as a consequence of war and retribution!....The top Ayatollah certified that the recent Iranian presidential election was fair, and will now return the voting machines to Florida!....Iran denies that election-fraud public protests, illegal in this muslim country, are taking place. Officials claim that the hundreds of thousands of alleged protesters are merely gathering for the next Denny's Grand Slam Breakfast Give-away!....North Korea's Kim Jong Il has found it unnecessary to name a successor afterall, as he has decided to accept the consequences of launching missiles at Japan and/or the United States!....
National: The Obama administration announced projected Medicare cuts, including lower payments to hospitals authorizing the care of illegal immigrants with no insurance coverage, who effect the largest drain on medical services. Cuts to the prescription drug benefits are also in the works, making seniors very nervous. With the advent of $4 prescriptions(thank you, WalMart), consumers have been able to see the money trail, and should expect pharmaceutical companies to not be so greedy - at least publicly!....The Olive Garden Restaurant chain has cancelled all ads on The Late Show, with David Letterman, for the remainder of 2009, in reaction to the joke about Sarah Palin's daughter(for which Letterman has profusely apologized), saying, "That's not what we're about!" However, they will continue their print ads in all Catholic-endorsed publications, because pedophile priests don't count! We know what they're about!....Jose Canseco is suing MLB for his loss of potential income, after being a whistle-blower in baseball's steroids scandal. Seems the man that all owners/officials/players called a liar was the ONLY one telling the truth!....Researchers claim that it would take eating more of the artificial sweetener aspartame than is humanly possible, in ones' lifetime, to cause cancer. But if we drink green tea daily, for a lifetime, we can prevent many types of cancer. Who are the tea lobbyists in D.C., and how much do they get paid?
State: How proud are Arizonans, to be Americans? Hundreds of thousands of dollars will again be spent on fireworks dislays/exhibits to celebrate Independence Day, while an unprecedented number of people are needing basic food supplies and shelter, as foodbanks are depleted and cannot keep pace with demand; home foreclosures are at an all-time high; and unemployement/underemployment undermine the American family. On the 4th of July, salute the flag, thank a Vet, and donate to your local foodbank!....The lack of a 2010 budget, by July 1st, may cause a shutdown of all non-essential state services. Isn't that why we have a projected deficit? If services are non-essential, eliminate them!....Why is there no federal investigation of Phoenix Police Chief Jack Haris, for acknowledging a blatant refusal to enforce illegal-immigration laws, unless an officer is killed? Violent crimes are greatly diminished in Maricopa County, but only because of the efforts of Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio, the man who is under federal investigation for enforcing illegal-immigration laws! Huh?....Some Republican legislators are urging tougher penalties for highway speed camera violators, citing lesser consequences(including not reporting violations to insurance companies), than if cited by an officer. In fact, officers typically use a 'reasonable and prudent' standard for speeding, and would probably not cite 95% of the camera-cited violations! Supporters for this change include the insurance companies' lobbyists. Follow the money!
Epilogue: Economy explained - Tough times in a very small town, with everyone living on credit. A rich man rides in, puts a $100 bill on the hotel desk, and goes upstairs to inspect the rooms. The hotel owner quickly runs to pay his $100 debt to the butcher; the butcher runs to pay his $100 debt to the rancher; the rancher runs to pay his $100 debt to the feed supplier; the feed supplier runs to pay his $100 debt to the town prostitute, who runs to the hotelier to pay her $100 debt for the rooms she has rented. Finally, the rich man comes downstairs, decides not to stay, takes his $100 bill, and leaves town. With no one actually earning any money, the town is now debt-free, leaving all with hope for a fresh start!
International: Murdered officials in Iraq and Pakistan spark outrage among their citizens. Murdered citizens spark outrage only when at the hands of American GIs. Murdered American GIs are accepted - sometimes cheered - as a consequence of war and retribution!....The top Ayatollah certified that the recent Iranian presidential election was fair, and will now return the voting machines to Florida!....Iran denies that election-fraud public protests, illegal in this muslim country, are taking place. Officials claim that the hundreds of thousands of alleged protesters are merely gathering for the next Denny's Grand Slam Breakfast Give-away!....North Korea's Kim Jong Il has found it unnecessary to name a successor afterall, as he has decided to accept the consequences of launching missiles at Japan and/or the United States!....
National: The Obama administration announced projected Medicare cuts, including lower payments to hospitals authorizing the care of illegal immigrants with no insurance coverage, who effect the largest drain on medical services. Cuts to the prescription drug benefits are also in the works, making seniors very nervous. With the advent of $4 prescriptions(thank you, WalMart), consumers have been able to see the money trail, and should expect pharmaceutical companies to not be so greedy - at least publicly!....The Olive Garden Restaurant chain has cancelled all ads on The Late Show, with David Letterman, for the remainder of 2009, in reaction to the joke about Sarah Palin's daughter(for which Letterman has profusely apologized), saying, "That's not what we're about!" However, they will continue their print ads in all Catholic-endorsed publications, because pedophile priests don't count! We know what they're about!....Jose Canseco is suing MLB for his loss of potential income, after being a whistle-blower in baseball's steroids scandal. Seems the man that all owners/officials/players called a liar was the ONLY one telling the truth!....Researchers claim that it would take eating more of the artificial sweetener aspartame than is humanly possible, in ones' lifetime, to cause cancer. But if we drink green tea daily, for a lifetime, we can prevent many types of cancer. Who are the tea lobbyists in D.C., and how much do they get paid?
State: How proud are Arizonans, to be Americans? Hundreds of thousands of dollars will again be spent on fireworks dislays/exhibits to celebrate Independence Day, while an unprecedented number of people are needing basic food supplies and shelter, as foodbanks are depleted and cannot keep pace with demand; home foreclosures are at an all-time high; and unemployement/underemployment undermine the American family. On the 4th of July, salute the flag, thank a Vet, and donate to your local foodbank!....The lack of a 2010 budget, by July 1st, may cause a shutdown of all non-essential state services. Isn't that why we have a projected deficit? If services are non-essential, eliminate them!....Why is there no federal investigation of Phoenix Police Chief Jack Haris, for acknowledging a blatant refusal to enforce illegal-immigration laws, unless an officer is killed? Violent crimes are greatly diminished in Maricopa County, but only because of the efforts of Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio, the man who is under federal investigation for enforcing illegal-immigration laws! Huh?....Some Republican legislators are urging tougher penalties for highway speed camera violators, citing lesser consequences(including not reporting violations to insurance companies), than if cited by an officer. In fact, officers typically use a 'reasonable and prudent' standard for speeding, and would probably not cite 95% of the camera-cited violations! Supporters for this change include the insurance companies' lobbyists. Follow the money!
Epilogue: Economy explained - Tough times in a very small town, with everyone living on credit. A rich man rides in, puts a $100 bill on the hotel desk, and goes upstairs to inspect the rooms. The hotel owner quickly runs to pay his $100 debt to the butcher; the butcher runs to pay his $100 debt to the rancher; the rancher runs to pay his $100 debt to the feed supplier; the feed supplier runs to pay his $100 debt to the town prostitute, who runs to the hotelier to pay her $100 debt for the rooms she has rented. Finally, the rich man comes downstairs, decides not to stay, takes his $100 bill, and leaves town. With no one actually earning any money, the town is now debt-free, leaving all with hope for a fresh start!
Az I See It....
Prologue: Bumpersticker - "If you can read this, I've lost my trailer!" - Paul B.
International: Iranian President Machmud Ahm-a-so-and-so proclaims a landslide victory, and a "healthy fairness" in the recent elections, as military and police forces beat back demonstrators and rioters who claim rampant election fraud. "Might makes right" comes to mind!....Why must female foreign journalists be required to dress the same as muslims - a religious sect - when reporting from within Islamic countries?
National: Have you noticed that major retailers are offering discounts of 30%, 40%, even 50% or more? Too bad they are pricing their items at inflated MSRP before allowing for the discounts. Just plain greedy!....And GM and Chrysler/Fiat? They will not fully recover, regardless of bankruptcy proceedings, until they produce vehicles that are affordable. Almost ten percent of America's workforce is unemployed, with another 40% of families being underemployed. And a car that seats one adult and three small children 'comfortably' is generally pretty useless!
State: The Arizona legislature has approved two anti-abortion bills that Gov. Brewer can't wait to authorize! They include waiting periods, additional counseling, and allowing for physicians and pharmacists to refuse treatment or even access to Plan B prescriptions. Nowhere is there a provision for the men to wait, or submit to further counseling, before having sex - and an Arizona man's Plan B is to leave town or quit his job!
Epilogue: "How can I be overdrawn? I still have checks!" - Sharon
International: Iranian President Machmud Ahm-a-so-and-so proclaims a landslide victory, and a "healthy fairness" in the recent elections, as military and police forces beat back demonstrators and rioters who claim rampant election fraud. "Might makes right" comes to mind!....Why must female foreign journalists be required to dress the same as muslims - a religious sect - when reporting from within Islamic countries?
National: Have you noticed that major retailers are offering discounts of 30%, 40%, even 50% or more? Too bad they are pricing their items at inflated MSRP before allowing for the discounts. Just plain greedy!....And GM and Chrysler/Fiat? They will not fully recover, regardless of bankruptcy proceedings, until they produce vehicles that are affordable. Almost ten percent of America's workforce is unemployed, with another 40% of families being underemployed. And a car that seats one adult and three small children 'comfortably' is generally pretty useless!
State: The Arizona legislature has approved two anti-abortion bills that Gov. Brewer can't wait to authorize! They include waiting periods, additional counseling, and allowing for physicians and pharmacists to refuse treatment or even access to Plan B prescriptions. Nowhere is there a provision for the men to wait, or submit to further counseling, before having sex - and an Arizona man's Plan B is to leave town or quit his job!
Epilogue: "How can I be overdrawn? I still have checks!" - Sharon
Az I Laugh At It....
- Nick sat in front of the TV, with his infant son, and settled onto an R-rated movie where the actress was soon topless. "Honey," said Susan, "Change the channel. He shouldn't be watching that." "It's okay," replied Nick. He probably thinks it's the Food Network!"
- Bernie and Kelly were getting plastered in a bar. "You know," stammered Kelly, "Lions have sex 10 to 15 times each night!" Bernie slammed his fist down in disgust, and said, "Damn! I just joined the Elks!"
- Bernie and Kelly were getting plastered in a bar. "You know," stammered Kelly, "Lions have sex 10 to 15 times each night!" Bernie slammed his fist down in disgust, and said, "Damn! I just joined the Elks!"
Az I Teach It....
- Az. Superintendent of Public Schools and Reformatories, Tom Horne, says he will withhold funding from any district which allows ethnic studies to take place in their schools. This completes his mission, in the advent of lowered passing scores and dumbed-down questions on the state-mandated AIMS tests, to ban studies of any kind!
- In an effort to 'maintain national stature among the most prestigious universities in the country,' ASU President Michael Crow decided to save money by having the most recent Dean's List recipients receive their certificates by e-mail, instead of printing and mailing them, as had been the accepted and standard practice. Eat Crow, kiddies!
- Teacher to parent: "If your child was any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice-a-week!"
- In an effort to 'maintain national stature among the most prestigious universities in the country,' ASU President Michael Crow decided to save money by having the most recent Dean's List recipients receive their certificates by e-mail, instead of printing and mailing them, as had been the accepted and standard practice. Eat Crow, kiddies!
- Teacher to parent: "If your child was any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice-a-week!"
Az I Laugh At It....
- Carol was showing off her new, Luxury car. "It was nice of PJ to buy that for you," said Nina. "He had to," replied Carol. "I caught him kissing the maid!" "How awful!" Nina sympathized. "Did you fire her?" "No," Carol smiled. "I still need a new dress and purse!"
- Just like a man! When Adam's children asked him why he no longer lived in the Garden of Eden, he replied, "Your mother ate us out of house and home!"
- Sharon and George(yeah - THAT Sharon and George) recently celebrated their 3rd wedding anniversary! Congratulations!
- Just like a man! When Adam's children asked him why he no longer lived in the Garden of Eden, he replied, "Your mother ate us out of house and home!"
- Sharon and George(yeah - THAT Sharon and George) recently celebrated their 3rd wedding anniversary! Congratulations!
Az I Play It....
- Shame on the National Basketball Association for allowing the WNBA to struggle to remain solvent, after initially attempting to capitalize on the popularity of womens athletics. The NBA still wants women to attend mens games, but will no longer subsidize the ladies athletic efforts, as theNBA's business model and income expectations have changed. That means they are just plain greedy!
Az I See It....
Prologue: If you're being passed by cars that are on the off-ramp, you're going too slow!
International: Two American journalists have been sentenced to 12 years hard labor for illegally crossing into N. Korean territory. If Arizona adopted this same policy, the state's infrastructure could be rebuilt within a year!
National: New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagle and his family, have been quarantined, in China, for supposed exposure to the H1N1 Swine Flu virus, but more likely because they're the only Black people in China!....A new over-the-counter test to determine the gender of an unborn baby boasts a 50% accuracy rate. Huh?....Oakland, Ca., will become the third U.S. city to issue legal ID cards to illegal immigrants, joining New Haven, Conn., and San Francisco, Ca., ensuring that the illegals will have more rights than Gay-American citizens!....An Ohio man was arrested, and charged with indecent exposure, for wearing a one-piece woman's bathing suit in public. While it may have been distasteful, the males walking around with their pants well below their asses - and their skin or underwear showing - is more indecent and disrespectful to the public than a swimsuit!
State: Gov. Brewer promises to veto the 2009-10 budget, unless it contains an increase in the state slaes tax, in an attempt to become the first politician ever to achieve getting blood from a stone(She has a bit more than one year left on her interim term!)....The GOP proposed budget will, if approved, put businesses and homeowners on an equal property tax basis, possibly dramatically increasing our home property taxes, in an effort to attract more businesses to the state. However, it is the homeowners that make businesses thrive(or not), and businesses are not likely to lower prices in appreciation of lower taxes, as they strive for more profits. Also, the Arizona labor force is one of the lowest paid in the nation, and will not likely be able to support new businesses anyway!....Driving is down 7% in Arizona, and expected to decline further, as the recessive economy and rising gas prices affect travel habits. Arizona Department of Transportation(ADOT) spokesman Doug Nintzel informs us that this will result in lower gas tax collections, which will equate to less money for road repairs, and a necessity to increase revenue somehow. Shouldn't it equate to less necessary repairs, as there is less traffic to damage the roadways?....Arizonans appear to be prepared for the change to digital television transmission this Friday(June 12th), but 90% of residents, both legal and illegal, still cannot stop their VCR/DVD players from blinking 12:00!
Local: Phoenix Mayor Phil Gordon is the epitome of the Democratic Party mascot(the Ass), as he inferred that Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio is guilty by association, as being supportive of Nazi and Neo-Nazi groups, based on out-of-context circumstantial situations - and Gordon's recent disdain for Arpaio's illegal immigrant enforcement tactics. What an idiot!....The murder rate is down 15%, but solving them remains a 50/50 proposition - and both for the same reasons - less illegals equals less murders, and illegals are afraid to attest to crimes because they fear personal exposure. Either way - thank you, Sheriff Joe!
Epilogue: Whole milk is 4% milkfat, then comes 2%, 1%, and skim(no fat) milk. Why is there no 3% milk?
International: Two American journalists have been sentenced to 12 years hard labor for illegally crossing into N. Korean territory. If Arizona adopted this same policy, the state's infrastructure could be rebuilt within a year!
National: New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagle and his family, have been quarantined, in China, for supposed exposure to the H1N1 Swine Flu virus, but more likely because they're the only Black people in China!....A new over-the-counter test to determine the gender of an unborn baby boasts a 50% accuracy rate. Huh?....Oakland, Ca., will become the third U.S. city to issue legal ID cards to illegal immigrants, joining New Haven, Conn., and San Francisco, Ca., ensuring that the illegals will have more rights than Gay-American citizens!....An Ohio man was arrested, and charged with indecent exposure, for wearing a one-piece woman's bathing suit in public. While it may have been distasteful, the males walking around with their pants well below their asses - and their skin or underwear showing - is more indecent and disrespectful to the public than a swimsuit!
State: Gov. Brewer promises to veto the 2009-10 budget, unless it contains an increase in the state slaes tax, in an attempt to become the first politician ever to achieve getting blood from a stone(She has a bit more than one year left on her interim term!)....The GOP proposed budget will, if approved, put businesses and homeowners on an equal property tax basis, possibly dramatically increasing our home property taxes, in an effort to attract more businesses to the state. However, it is the homeowners that make businesses thrive(or not), and businesses are not likely to lower prices in appreciation of lower taxes, as they strive for more profits. Also, the Arizona labor force is one of the lowest paid in the nation, and will not likely be able to support new businesses anyway!....Driving is down 7% in Arizona, and expected to decline further, as the recessive economy and rising gas prices affect travel habits. Arizona Department of Transportation(ADOT) spokesman Doug Nintzel informs us that this will result in lower gas tax collections, which will equate to less money for road repairs, and a necessity to increase revenue somehow. Shouldn't it equate to less necessary repairs, as there is less traffic to damage the roadways?....Arizonans appear to be prepared for the change to digital television transmission this Friday(June 12th), but 90% of residents, both legal and illegal, still cannot stop their VCR/DVD players from blinking 12:00!
Local: Phoenix Mayor Phil Gordon is the epitome of the Democratic Party mascot(the Ass), as he inferred that Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio is guilty by association, as being supportive of Nazi and Neo-Nazi groups, based on out-of-context circumstantial situations - and Gordon's recent disdain for Arpaio's illegal immigrant enforcement tactics. What an idiot!....The murder rate is down 15%, but solving them remains a 50/50 proposition - and both for the same reasons - less illegals equals less murders, and illegals are afraid to attest to crimes because they fear personal exposure. Either way - thank you, Sheriff Joe!
Epilogue: Whole milk is 4% milkfat, then comes 2%, 1%, and skim(no fat) milk. Why is there no 3% milk?
Az I Laugh At It....
- A policeman stopped Sharon, and asked for her driver's license and registration. The officer said, "It says here that you should be wearing glasses." "Well, I have contacts!" answered Sharon. "Look Lady," the officer snapped. "I don't care who you know. You're getting a ticket!"
- A young maternity ward patient was paging through a telephone directory, when a nurse asked if she could be of help. "No, thanks," the young mother said. "I'm just looking for a name for my baby." The nurse reminded, "But the hospital supplies a book that lists every first name and its meaning." "That won't help," chimed the mother. My baby already has a FIRST name!"
- PJ complained, "My wife charges me $100 for sex!" Jack said, "You're lucky! She charges $250 for everyone else!
- A young maternity ward patient was paging through a telephone directory, when a nurse asked if she could be of help. "No, thanks," the young mother said. "I'm just looking for a name for my baby." The nurse reminded, "But the hospital supplies a book that lists every first name and its meaning." "That won't help," chimed the mother. My baby already has a FIRST name!"
- PJ complained, "My wife charges me $100 for sex!" Jack said, "You're lucky! She charges $250 for everyone else!
Az I AARP It....
- Lucille Retheford, 86, of the Town of Youngtown, Arizona, has stepped aside after serving so admirably on the Town Council. While she still serves as AARP Chapter #1 Treasurer, among several other volunteer committments, Lucille has been nominated to receive the annual AARP Ethel Percy Andrus Award, for outstanding service! Congratulations, and thank you, Lucille!
Az I Teach It....
- As the state's 2009-10 budget comes nearer to closure, it seems the final tally was more than 7,000 Arizona teachers being at least temporarily laid-off - and two administrators! With the influx of federal stimulus monies, slightly more than half of those teachers will be offered contract renewals for the upcoming school year - and both administrators!
- You're probably a teacher, if:
You believe there cannot be enough Ritalin in the world!
You feel good about going to your evening job!
You do not understand why the ACLU and the general public are against duct-taping a student to a chair!
You think caffeine should be available in intravenous form!
- You're probably a teacher, if:
You believe there cannot be enough Ritalin in the world!
You feel good about going to your evening job!
You do not understand why the ACLU and the general public are against duct-taping a student to a chair!
You think caffeine should be available in intravenous form!
Congratulations!
- Adela Galvan, 38, and Chris Muscato, 49, were married on Saturday, May 30th, at St. Thomas More Catholic Community Church, in Henderson, Nevada. Among the guests were approximately 40 of Adela's family members, many from Mexico city, and 10 of Chris' family from various parts of the U.S., including his mother, Anne, age 82, from Buffalo, NY. The reception was at the Sunset Station Sunset Room. A fun time was had by all! Congratulations, and best wishes to the bride and groom!
Az I Laugh At It....
- Alec's mother was leaving him with a sitter. "Will you be a good little boy, Alec?" she pleaded. Alec insisted, "I will, if you give me a dollar!" His mother demanded, "Why can't you be good-for-nothing like your father?!"
- Sharon and Dorothy went shopping for fabric, when they saw a store window sign that read "Felt for $1.25." Dorothy asked Sharon why she was laughing, and she replied, "Because, I can get felt for free!"
- If it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all!
- Sharon and Dorothy went shopping for fabric, when they saw a store window sign that read "Felt for $1.25." Dorothy asked Sharon why she was laughing, and she replied, "Because, I can get felt for free!"
- If it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all!
Az I See It....
Prologue: When 535 U.S. Congressmen receive medical and dental benefits, at the taxpayers' expense, it is called a 'benefit of the job.' When the taxpayers ask Congress to approve the same benefits, also at taxpayers' expense, for the U.S. citizenry, it is called 'socialized medicine.' Huh?
International: New passport rules went into effect on June 1st, ensuring that U.S. citizens will not be able to enter their own country as easily as illegal immigrants!....North Korea has declared that the 1953 treaty that ended the Korean War is now null and void, clearing the way for the return of Hawkeye Pierce, Hotlips Hoolihan, and the 4077 MASH!....Susan Boyle lost, in her attempt to win 'Britain's Got Talent' - a competition identical to 'America's Got Talent' - NOT comparable to 'American Idol!'
National: General Motors bankruptcy plans will only be successful if it leads to the production of affordable vehicles. American's cannot afford to pay outrageously exhorbitant prices for automobiles, whether or not they reduce carbon emissions!....Why are processed foods bad for you, but organic foods, grown smothered in animal manure, are good for you?
State/Local: The rate of Arizona smokers has dropped dramatically, as older smokers are dying off, and younger, potential smokers would rather use illegal or prescription drugs!....Auto thefts are down 40%, while repossessions are up 60%!....Phoenix is rated as one of the most unprepared cities for the switch to digital broadcast television. Soon, there will be no Seinfeld for YOU!....Maricopa County Attorney Andrew Thomas is taking flak for supposedly not doing enough to combat youth drug problems. Influential parent groups are adamant about not accepting responsibility for their own lack of supervision and parenting!....Reusable cloth grocery bags are found to contain mold, bacteria, and other contaminants, if not properly washed after each use. Paper, please!
Epilogue: Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. - Mark Twain
International: New passport rules went into effect on June 1st, ensuring that U.S. citizens will not be able to enter their own country as easily as illegal immigrants!....North Korea has declared that the 1953 treaty that ended the Korean War is now null and void, clearing the way for the return of Hawkeye Pierce, Hotlips Hoolihan, and the 4077 MASH!....Susan Boyle lost, in her attempt to win 'Britain's Got Talent' - a competition identical to 'America's Got Talent' - NOT comparable to 'American Idol!'
National: General Motors bankruptcy plans will only be successful if it leads to the production of affordable vehicles. American's cannot afford to pay outrageously exhorbitant prices for automobiles, whether or not they reduce carbon emissions!....Why are processed foods bad for you, but organic foods, grown smothered in animal manure, are good for you?
State/Local: The rate of Arizona smokers has dropped dramatically, as older smokers are dying off, and younger, potential smokers would rather use illegal or prescription drugs!....Auto thefts are down 40%, while repossessions are up 60%!....Phoenix is rated as one of the most unprepared cities for the switch to digital broadcast television. Soon, there will be no Seinfeld for YOU!....Maricopa County Attorney Andrew Thomas is taking flak for supposedly not doing enough to combat youth drug problems. Influential parent groups are adamant about not accepting responsibility for their own lack of supervision and parenting!....Reusable cloth grocery bags are found to contain mold, bacteria, and other contaminants, if not properly washed after each use. Paper, please!
Epilogue: Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. - Mark Twain
Az I Laugh At It....
- Son to father: "How much does it cost to get married?"
Father: I don't know, son. I'm still paying for it!"
- A woman knows she's in love with a man the first time she tells him, "No!" A man knows he's in love with a woman the first time she tells him, "Yes!"
- The doorbell rang, and Sharon answered, seeing a workman, complete with tool set. " I'm the piano tuner," he offered. Sharon exclaimed, "I didn't call for a piano tuner." He replied, "I know you didn't, but your neighbors did!"
- Did you ever wonder why, when a woman wears a leather dress, a man's heart beats quicker, his throat gets dry, he gets weak-in-the-knees, and begins to think irrationally? It's because she smells like a new golf bag!(Huh, Nick?!)
Father: I don't know, son. I'm still paying for it!"
- A woman knows she's in love with a man the first time she tells him, "No!" A man knows he's in love with a woman the first time she tells him, "Yes!"
- The doorbell rang, and Sharon answered, seeing a workman, complete with tool set. " I'm the piano tuner," he offered. Sharon exclaimed, "I didn't call for a piano tuner." He replied, "I know you didn't, but your neighbors did!"
- Did you ever wonder why, when a woman wears a leather dress, a man's heart beats quicker, his throat gets dry, he gets weak-in-the-knees, and begins to think irrationally? It's because she smells like a new golf bag!(Huh, Nick?!)
Az I Teach It....
- The AIMS Task Force recommends Arizona high school students take two additional tests, and that the AIMS tests are no longer sufficient indicators of college preparedness. Rember when students had to take the ITBS, or CAT, or district tests? They were deemed insignificant indicators, because students failed them at ever-growing rates. Even now, Arizona has one of the lowest high school and college graduation rates, and one of the highest dropout rates!
- More than 5,000 teachers, and two administrators, are now unemployed, at least until the federal stimulus money is distributed and the two administrators get re-hired!
- High school students want to earn extra money while school is free. College students want education free, so that they don't have to make extra money!
- The teacher was trying to persuade students to buy the class picture. "Just think how nice it will be someday, to look at it and say, 'There's Michael - he's a lawyer; there's Jennifer - she's a doctor.'" Little Nicky, from the back of the room, said, "And there's teacher - she's dead!"
- More than 5,000 teachers, and two administrators, are now unemployed, at least until the federal stimulus money is distributed and the two administrators get re-hired!
- High school students want to earn extra money while school is free. College students want education free, so that they don't have to make extra money!
- The teacher was trying to persuade students to buy the class picture. "Just think how nice it will be someday, to look at it and say, 'There's Michael - he's a lawyer; there's Jennifer - she's a doctor.'" Little Nicky, from the back of the room, said, "And there's teacher - she's dead!"
Az I See It....
Prologue: Why are lighting fixtures still sold with incandescent light bulbs, instead of CFLs?
International: North Korea has conducted two recent nuclear tests that even their closest allies have objected to - except that kook in Iran - President Mock-mudd I'm-an-idiot!....North Korean President Kim Jong Il is still considering having his youngest son, Menta Li Il, assume his position, and possibly sooner than later!....Oil prices are again beginning to soar. I don't hear any of the Arab OPEC members complaining, as fast-rising gasoline prices resume their assault on the American economy!
National: With the criticism of the Obama administration, it begs the question, "Why not continue to print trillions of dollars for the Iraqis and Afghanis, instead of for Americans. George Bush did!....The feds have filed suit against several companies, alleging that they have made one billion plus phone calls, attempting to scare folks into believing their auto warrantees have expired!....GM and Chrysler will close at least one-fifth of their production and distribution facilities. This will ensure sustained, high prices for autos, as demand will eventually increase for dwindling supplies! "Let them eat cake" comes to mind!....In order to make more money than is illegally allowable, The National Football League will allow state lotteries to use their team logos(for a price), in efforts to grab any money still in public circulation. Massachusetts and Delaware are the first to bet your farm!
State: Speed camera activations have increased ten percent, while payments of fines remain stagnantly low. People just like having their pictures taken for free!....While other states are rigorously competing for economic development projects, during this global recession, Arizona rolls along at a snail's pace, instead relying on federal stimulus money and consumer ineptness, to regain fiduciary balance!....Arizona officials are more upset about lack of funding for up-coming 100th State birthday celebrations, than for lack of funds for public education, health care and the homeless!
Epilogue: In times like these, it's helpful to remember that there have always been times like these! - Paul Harvey
International: North Korea has conducted two recent nuclear tests that even their closest allies have objected to - except that kook in Iran - President Mock-mudd I'm-an-idiot!....North Korean President Kim Jong Il is still considering having his youngest son, Menta Li Il, assume his position, and possibly sooner than later!....Oil prices are again beginning to soar. I don't hear any of the Arab OPEC members complaining, as fast-rising gasoline prices resume their assault on the American economy!
National: With the criticism of the Obama administration, it begs the question, "Why not continue to print trillions of dollars for the Iraqis and Afghanis, instead of for Americans. George Bush did!....The feds have filed suit against several companies, alleging that they have made one billion plus phone calls, attempting to scare folks into believing their auto warrantees have expired!....GM and Chrysler will close at least one-fifth of their production and distribution facilities. This will ensure sustained, high prices for autos, as demand will eventually increase for dwindling supplies! "Let them eat cake" comes to mind!....In order to make more money than is illegally allowable, The National Football League will allow state lotteries to use their team logos(for a price), in efforts to grab any money still in public circulation. Massachusetts and Delaware are the first to bet your farm!
State: Speed camera activations have increased ten percent, while payments of fines remain stagnantly low. People just like having their pictures taken for free!....While other states are rigorously competing for economic development projects, during this global recession, Arizona rolls along at a snail's pace, instead relying on federal stimulus money and consumer ineptness, to regain fiduciary balance!....Arizona officials are more upset about lack of funding for up-coming 100th State birthday celebrations, than for lack of funds for public education, health care and the homeless!
Epilogue: In times like these, it's helpful to remember that there have always been times like these! - Paul Harvey
Friends is Friends
- Well, my computer crashed! With everything - I mean EVERYTHING - on it! I made an appointment at the nearest Apple Store, to have it diagnosed/repaired by one of their in-house Geniuses - for FREE! Lead Genius, Brad McCauley, spent two(2) hours diagnosing, treating, explaining, reassuring, etc., and the computer is now better than ever! So impressed with his work that we named our new hard-drive back-up 'Brad.' Seriously, if you own a Mac computer, and you have any trouble, contact your nearest Apple Store, and let a Genius have at it! Naturally, any necessary parts are extra, but software problem fixes are FREE! How 'bout them Apples!
Friends is Friends
- When things go wrong, as they sometimes may, it is good to know that there are people like Cynthia(Cindy) Wilson, an ASU event volunteer. After Lt. Archangel Muscato was commisioned, on May 14th, Cindy offered a cart-ride for Anne Muscato, 82, and Adelaide Harvey, 83 - Arky's grandmothers - to return to a pre-determined pick-up point, as there seems to be no automobile access to the ASU Memorial Union facility, and it was at least 110F in the sun!
After profusely thanking Cindy, it was discovered that Adelaide had left her purse - with hundreds of dollars, credit cards, etc., as she is visiting from Buffalo, NY. - in the back of the golf cart! Cindy eventually discovered the purse and spent the next 45 minutes attempting to contact Adelaide - making calls to contact numbers in the purse, and finally returning to the rendezvous point, where we waiting - hoping for a miracle!
Well, won't wonders never cease! We spotted Cindy, and she came along side our vehicle, offering her sympathy for the situation, and her wishes for a continued happy vacation! It's people like Cindy that put an emphasis on the good things that people are capable of doing - and a lasting sense of gratitude! Thank you, Cindy!
After profusely thanking Cindy, it was discovered that Adelaide had left her purse - with hundreds of dollars, credit cards, etc., as she is visiting from Buffalo, NY. - in the back of the golf cart! Cindy eventually discovered the purse and spent the next 45 minutes attempting to contact Adelaide - making calls to contact numbers in the purse, and finally returning to the rendezvous point, where we waiting - hoping for a miracle!
Well, won't wonders never cease! We spotted Cindy, and she came along side our vehicle, offering her sympathy for the situation, and her wishes for a continued happy vacation! It's people like Cindy that put an emphasis on the good things that people are capable of doing - and a lasting sense of gratitude! Thank you, Cindy!
Az I Laugh At It....
- Sharon boasted, "My ex-husband wants to marry me again. I think he's after the money I married him for!"
- A genie gives PJ one wish - for anything - provided his mother-in-law gets double! "Okay," said PJ, thoughtfully. "Give me a million dollars and beat me half-to-death!"
- PJ to wife: "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law more than you like mine!"
- "Nick, why don't you play golf with Bernie anymore?" asked Susan. Nick replied, "Would you play golf with a guy who moves his ball with his foot when you're not watching?" "Heck no!" answered Susan. "Well," said Nick, "Neither will Bernie!"
- A genie gives PJ one wish - for anything - provided his mother-in-law gets double! "Okay," said PJ, thoughtfully. "Give me a million dollars and beat me half-to-death!"
- PJ to wife: "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law more than you like mine!"
- "Nick, why don't you play golf with Bernie anymore?" asked Susan. Nick replied, "Would you play golf with a guy who moves his ball with his foot when you're not watching?" "Heck no!" answered Susan. "Well," said Nick, "Neither will Bernie!"
Az I See It....
Prologue: Pfizer Pharmaceuticals has announced that they will assist the unemployed by offering one free-year of Viagra to those in need, giving new meaning to the term 'hard up!'
International: In Berlin, a 35,000-year old sculpture of a woman has been recognized as possibly the oldest human sculpture. Discovered in six fragments, it has been identified as possibly being that of Joan Rivers!....Renowned film director Roman Polanski, 75, and living in France, has been denied dismissal of a 1977 conviction for having had sex with a then 13-year old girl. It is amazing that people continue to boycott and protest Jane Fonda for her treasonous acts during the Viet Nam War, but eagerly await the release of new film offerings from this convicted child rapist!....An 8-year old girl was granted a divoce from her 50-year old husband. Saudi Arabian Muslim officials oppose establishing a minimum age of 18 for marriage - there is none, now - defending the custom by adding, 'there's no minimum age required to be a Catholic altar boy!'
National: In Fort Worth, Texas, parasitic Phorid flies are being released into the eco-system, so that their maggots can invade fire ant colonies, eating their brains from the inside-out, and turning them into virtual zombies. If successful, public school administrators promise to use these flies on teachers, to stem any future unionized activities!....On June 12th, all television broadcasts will be digital. In order to prevent having to use a digital converter box for future space transmissions, the crew of the space shuttle Atlantis is installing a 350 mile long cable, from the Hubble telescope to Earth!....A Dioscece of Miami priest may lose his priesthood, because he has admitted that he has loved a woman for twenty years. In an effort to avert a controversy on celibacy, church officials have compromised, allowing the priest to remain, if he promises to only have sex with consenting altar boys!
State/Local: Anytime the President of the United States is scheduled to speak - anywhere - there are logistics that cannot be avoided. Arizona State University mad a difficult situation worse, when President Obama spoke at the recent commencement. 71,000 people were herded into limited areas for security searches, causing hundreds to succumb to heat illnesses due to the estimated 150F on the ASU parking lot blacktop. Volunteers distributed water - and it was as warm as the blacktop - to anyone who requested it, until it ran out! Hundreds of Doctoral candidates had their names individually called, and walked the stage to shake hands with the President, but the twenty U.S. Armed Forces officer candidates were not allowed the same! Shuttle services that brought patrons to the stadium(a 20-minute, 2-block ride) were not available for the return trip, and people were only allowed to exit the stadium on the north side - almost a 1-mile walk to the nearest light rail station - a huge problem for the many older folks who had survived through at least six hours of oppressive heat and music from Alice Cooper's son Daschiell(it helps to know someone!) There's more, but it alredy hurts to relive it! The highlights - Obama's speech and his swearing-in of the new Army/Air Force Officers, and Alice Cooper rocking the house with School's Out for Summer! And Obama made the University President's decision to decline conferring an Honorary degree to him an even bigger embarrassment, making light of it, and using it for the impetus of his message to the gradutes. In all, ASU's President should eat Crow!
Epilogue: George W. Bush is now in his 9th year of not being President. - David Letterman
International: In Berlin, a 35,000-year old sculpture of a woman has been recognized as possibly the oldest human sculpture. Discovered in six fragments, it has been identified as possibly being that of Joan Rivers!....Renowned film director Roman Polanski, 75, and living in France, has been denied dismissal of a 1977 conviction for having had sex with a then 13-year old girl. It is amazing that people continue to boycott and protest Jane Fonda for her treasonous acts during the Viet Nam War, but eagerly await the release of new film offerings from this convicted child rapist!....An 8-year old girl was granted a divoce from her 50-year old husband. Saudi Arabian Muslim officials oppose establishing a minimum age of 18 for marriage - there is none, now - defending the custom by adding, 'there's no minimum age required to be a Catholic altar boy!'
National: In Fort Worth, Texas, parasitic Phorid flies are being released into the eco-system, so that their maggots can invade fire ant colonies, eating their brains from the inside-out, and turning them into virtual zombies. If successful, public school administrators promise to use these flies on teachers, to stem any future unionized activities!....On June 12th, all television broadcasts will be digital. In order to prevent having to use a digital converter box for future space transmissions, the crew of the space shuttle Atlantis is installing a 350 mile long cable, from the Hubble telescope to Earth!....A Dioscece of Miami priest may lose his priesthood, because he has admitted that he has loved a woman for twenty years. In an effort to avert a controversy on celibacy, church officials have compromised, allowing the priest to remain, if he promises to only have sex with consenting altar boys!
State/Local: Anytime the President of the United States is scheduled to speak - anywhere - there are logistics that cannot be avoided. Arizona State University mad a difficult situation worse, when President Obama spoke at the recent commencement. 71,000 people were herded into limited areas for security searches, causing hundreds to succumb to heat illnesses due to the estimated 150F on the ASU parking lot blacktop. Volunteers distributed water - and it was as warm as the blacktop - to anyone who requested it, until it ran out! Hundreds of Doctoral candidates had their names individually called, and walked the stage to shake hands with the President, but the twenty U.S. Armed Forces officer candidates were not allowed the same! Shuttle services that brought patrons to the stadium(a 20-minute, 2-block ride) were not available for the return trip, and people were only allowed to exit the stadium on the north side - almost a 1-mile walk to the nearest light rail station - a huge problem for the many older folks who had survived through at least six hours of oppressive heat and music from Alice Cooper's son Daschiell(it helps to know someone!) There's more, but it alredy hurts to relive it! The highlights - Obama's speech and his swearing-in of the new Army/Air Force Officers, and Alice Cooper rocking the house with School's Out for Summer! And Obama made the University President's decision to decline conferring an Honorary degree to him an even bigger embarrassment, making light of it, and using it for the impetus of his message to the gradutes. In all, ASU's President should eat Crow!
Epilogue: George W. Bush is now in his 9th year of not being President. - David Letterman
Congratulations!
- After four years of ROTC and earning a Bachelor's Degree in Political Science, 2nd Lieutenant Archangel(Arky) Muscato, II was sworn into the U.S. Armed Forces(Army Infantry), by his Commander-in-Chief, President Barack Obama, during the 2009 Commencement Ceremonies at Arizona State University, last night. Arky will report to Ft. Benning, Georgia, in January 2010, for additional Officer Training(8 months), followed by deployment to Germany in the autumn of 2010. Congratulations, Arky2 - we love you, and are extremely proud of you!
Az I Laugh At It....
- PJ, on his golf shots: "Even when I hit it left, it goes right!"
- PJ, on his physique: "It took me 77 years, but I now have the body of a god - Buddha!"
- Against his better judgement, PJ hired Bernie as his mechanics-helper. PJ explained that he wanted Bernie to detail a car that was parked outside, and gave him two extension cords, a vacuum cleaner, a bucket, rags, and the car keys. Later, he returned to see Bernie sitting in the car with his feet on the dashboard, listening to the stereo. PJ fumed, "Why aren't you vacuuming the car?" Bernie answered calmly, "Because the vacuum wouldn't reach - even with the extension cord." PJ burst, "That's why I gave you two!" Bernie explained, "Yeah, but that one wouldn't reach either!"
- PJ, on his physique: "It took me 77 years, but I now have the body of a god - Buddha!"
- Against his better judgement, PJ hired Bernie as his mechanics-helper. PJ explained that he wanted Bernie to detail a car that was parked outside, and gave him two extension cords, a vacuum cleaner, a bucket, rags, and the car keys. Later, he returned to see Bernie sitting in the car with his feet on the dashboard, listening to the stereo. PJ fumed, "Why aren't you vacuuming the car?" Bernie answered calmly, "Because the vacuum wouldn't reach - even with the extension cord." PJ burst, "That's why I gave you two!" Bernie explained, "Yeah, but that one wouldn't reach either!"
Az I Use It....
- When U.S. Congressmen have the taxpayers pick up the tab for their personal medical care, it's a benefit. When the taxpayers ask the U.S. Congress to pick up the tab for their medical care, it's socialized medicine. Huh?
- Either use all of your 42-cent stamps soon, or stock up on 2-cent stamps. On Monday, May 11th, the cost of a First Class stamp will increase to 44-cents for the first ounce. Other postal services will also increase, as the Postal Service claims more than $200M in losses for 2009!
- Either use all of your 42-cent stamps soon, or stock up on 2-cent stamps. On Monday, May 11th, the cost of a First Class stamp will increase to 44-cents for the first ounce. Other postal services will also increase, as the Postal Service claims more than $200M in losses for 2009!
Adz I Need It....
- The weather is quickly heating up, and it's getting more difficult each week to maintain the swimming pool! Need an acid bath? Stabilized chemical treatment? Cleaning? Or are your pump and filter leaking, or otherwise in need of repair/replacement? Call Ace Pool Service - by John Honer. That's right - the same John Honer that Paddock Pools depended on for so many years is now Ace Pool Service - your neighborhood pool specialist! 623-341-0236
Az I AARP It....
- The next Chapter #1 meeting is this Friday, at 5:30pm, in the Youngtown Council Chambers - and it's the last meeting until September! Come and join us for pizza, and entertainment by the Dramagenics Family Improv group. If you haven't already RSVP'd, please do so!
- Lupe Solis, the Arizona AARP Advocacy Director, and a lady admired by many for her persistence, insistence, and inspiration, has officially retired! While she will be missed, she claims that she will not 'disappear!' We certainly hope not - and wish her well!
- Seniors - we are more valuable than the younger generations. We have silver in our hair; gold in our teeth; stones in our kidneys; lead in our feet; and we are LOADED with natural gas!
- Lupe Solis, the Arizona AARP Advocacy Director, and a lady admired by many for her persistence, insistence, and inspiration, has officially retired! While she will be missed, she claims that she will not 'disappear!' We certainly hope not - and wish her well!
- Seniors - we are more valuable than the younger generations. We have silver in our hair; gold in our teeth; stones in our kidneys; lead in our feet; and we are LOADED with natural gas!
Az I Laugh At It....
- Renee was rather quiet on the drive home from her soccer game. Her Dad asked what was wrong, assuming it was because the team had lost, and she didn't play during a crucial part of the game. Renee blurted, "The coach asked me to sit out for a quarter, and he still hasn't paid me!
- A little boy from NYC was being led through the swamps of Louisiana by his cousin. The boy asked, "Is it true that an alligator won't attack you if you carry a flashlight?" The Cajun cousin replied, "Well, that depends on how fast you carry the flashlight!"
- I wouldn't trade my lifestyle for all of the money in the world. It wouldn't be enough! - Sharon
- A little boy from NYC was being led through the swamps of Louisiana by his cousin. The boy asked, "Is it true that an alligator won't attack you if you carry a flashlight?" The Cajun cousin replied, "Well, that depends on how fast you carry the flashlight!"
- I wouldn't trade my lifestyle for all of the money in the world. It wouldn't be enough! - Sharon
Az I Play It....
- It's that time of year - again! The Arizona Cardinals, fresh off of their 9-7 regular season(yeah, I know, they somehow got hot enough to go to the Super Bowl), with the worst running game in the NFL, have drafted Chris "Beanie" Wells, from Ohio State University. My money says that with the poor run-blocking provided by the Big Reds' offensive line, Wells will be another in a long line of superstar running backs that the Cards have wasted - and blamed! Remember - they were STILL just a 9-7 regular season team - and could as easily have been 6-10 as fanatics proclaim they could have been 12-4!
Az I Teach It....
- Since 1995, the Arizona graduation rate is more than the 74% that America's Promise Alliance recently reported. According to State Stipend-Intendent Tom Horne, their figures don't add up, because with our newly lower standards, 100% of our students graduate. Many of them at the top of their class!
Az I See It....
Prologue: When a husband brings his wife flowers for no reason, there's a reason!
International: Former Cuban dictator Fidel Castro said that President Obama misinterpreted his successor, and brother, Raul "Fredo" Castro, and that Cuba has no interest in normalizing relations with the United States!
National: Since 2004, 84 U.S. Border Patrol officers have been arrested for accepting bribes from Mexican drug cartels. Only 62 were convicted, as the other 22 were able to bribe the judges for acquittal!....The Department of Public Safety Violent Criminal Apprehension Team(VCAT) and the U.S. Marshal Service Arizona Wanted Task Force(WTF) have combined efforts to clear felony warrants, creating the Western Elusive Suspect Unification Co-op, or WE SUC!....Sen. Jon Kyl is appealing for federal funds for border security, to keep people from coming here illegally, but adamantly declines federal money for infrastructure improvement and development, which would help the people that live here legally!....Arizona has been ordered to speed up financial reporting on the dispersal and transparency, of federal stimulus money. As an alternative to the complicated disclosure forms, State politicians need now only to submit their bank account numbers!....The Plan B abortion pill may soon be available over-the-counter(no prescription) to 17-year-olds. Opponents say it further erodes parental control, while advocates insist it would not be necessry if parents had any control!
State/Local: Recent reports indicate that one-in-five Arizona teens, especially in the East Valley, are abusing prescription drugs, and typically get them from their parents' medicine cabinet!....The University of Arizona is in dire need of a tuition increase, as recent State education budget cuts will make it impossible to pay for Head Football Coach Mike Stoops' recent contract extension, which promises $1M in salary increases and bonuses!....Wouldn't the Arizona Republic newspaper save a ton of money if they would refer to the U.S. President as 'President Obama,' instead of 'President Barack Obama?' How many President Obama's are there, anyway? GOT INK?....In an effort to remain competitive, while maintaining unjustifiably high prices, Basha's will close nine(9) valley grocery stores. Recent consumer surveys show that Fry's and WalMart consistently have the Valley's lowest all-around prices!
Epilogue: If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
International: Former Cuban dictator Fidel Castro said that President Obama misinterpreted his successor, and brother, Raul "Fredo" Castro, and that Cuba has no interest in normalizing relations with the United States!
National: Since 2004, 84 U.S. Border Patrol officers have been arrested for accepting bribes from Mexican drug cartels. Only 62 were convicted, as the other 22 were able to bribe the judges for acquittal!....The Department of Public Safety Violent Criminal Apprehension Team(VCAT) and the U.S. Marshal Service Arizona Wanted Task Force(WTF) have combined efforts to clear felony warrants, creating the Western Elusive Suspect Unification Co-op, or WE SUC!....Sen. Jon Kyl is appealing for federal funds for border security, to keep people from coming here illegally, but adamantly declines federal money for infrastructure improvement and development, which would help the people that live here legally!....Arizona has been ordered to speed up financial reporting on the dispersal and transparency, of federal stimulus money. As an alternative to the complicated disclosure forms, State politicians need now only to submit their bank account numbers!....The Plan B abortion pill may soon be available over-the-counter(no prescription) to 17-year-olds. Opponents say it further erodes parental control, while advocates insist it would not be necessry if parents had any control!
State/Local: Recent reports indicate that one-in-five Arizona teens, especially in the East Valley, are abusing prescription drugs, and typically get them from their parents' medicine cabinet!....The University of Arizona is in dire need of a tuition increase, as recent State education budget cuts will make it impossible to pay for Head Football Coach Mike Stoops' recent contract extension, which promises $1M in salary increases and bonuses!....Wouldn't the Arizona Republic newspaper save a ton of money if they would refer to the U.S. President as 'President Obama,' instead of 'President Barack Obama?' How many President Obama's are there, anyway? GOT INK?....In an effort to remain competitive, while maintaining unjustifiably high prices, Basha's will close nine(9) valley grocery stores. Recent consumer surveys show that Fry's and WalMart consistently have the Valley's lowest all-around prices!
Epilogue: If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
Az I See It....
Prologue: The most dangerous food is wedding cake! - James Thurber
International: John Demjanjuk, 89, the infamous, convicted Nazi camp torturer, had his deportation to Germany, for another war-crimes trial, stayed by a U.S. judge - because of his failing health. What a gas!....Film star Jackie Chan professes that freedom is over-rated, and that Chinese - and society in general - need to be controlled, or else 'we'll just do what we want!' I want to never see Chan get paid for another film!....I'm tired of hearing about drugs, and other technologies, that 'may be available in 5 years,' and then never hearing about them again!
National: In honor of Earth Day - April 22nd - this week only, the Home Depot is giving away one million CFL lightbulbs, just for stopping by and asking for one!....President Obama has really pissed-off the right-wing Republicans now. First, he has attempted to mend U.S. relations with previously Bush-alienated dictators, then he announced that he will NOT seek a ban on assault weapons!....And why does Obama have his new dog, Bo, on a longer leash than VP Joe Biden?....The beautiful(and yes, blonde) Miss USA runner-up from California, stated that she 'thinks she believes that a marriage should only be recognized if it is between a man and a woman.' I can't wait to see her scandalous, secret video!....New Jersey's new drivers are now mandated to display a window sticker to that effect, in their vehicles. Arizona requires newly licensed drivers to be at least 16 years-old, and prove their proficiency in texting-while-driving!
State: The University of Arizona has bested Arizona State University, ranking 5th in the U.S., as one of Playboy's annual Top Party schools!....5,000 self-proclaimed 'tea baggers' marched on the Capitol, in protest of high taxes. Not knowing what the term 'tea baggers' may refer to, these are the same self-righteous folks that marched against the recent Gay marriage voter initiatives!....After the Gilbert Unified School Board spent many months researching teen sleep patterns, saving money is more important than learning, so they decided to keep school start times as they are, and that 1st period math class will remain the optimum time for student to sleep!
Epilogue: Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way. The other is to let her have it! - Lyndon Baines Johnson
International: John Demjanjuk, 89, the infamous, convicted Nazi camp torturer, had his deportation to Germany, for another war-crimes trial, stayed by a U.S. judge - because of his failing health. What a gas!....Film star Jackie Chan professes that freedom is over-rated, and that Chinese - and society in general - need to be controlled, or else 'we'll just do what we want!' I want to never see Chan get paid for another film!....I'm tired of hearing about drugs, and other technologies, that 'may be available in 5 years,' and then never hearing about them again!
National: In honor of Earth Day - April 22nd - this week only, the Home Depot is giving away one million CFL lightbulbs, just for stopping by and asking for one!....President Obama has really pissed-off the right-wing Republicans now. First, he has attempted to mend U.S. relations with previously Bush-alienated dictators, then he announced that he will NOT seek a ban on assault weapons!....And why does Obama have his new dog, Bo, on a longer leash than VP Joe Biden?....The beautiful(and yes, blonde) Miss USA runner-up from California, stated that she 'thinks she believes that a marriage should only be recognized if it is between a man and a woman.' I can't wait to see her scandalous, secret video!....New Jersey's new drivers are now mandated to display a window sticker to that effect, in their vehicles. Arizona requires newly licensed drivers to be at least 16 years-old, and prove their proficiency in texting-while-driving!
State: The University of Arizona has bested Arizona State University, ranking 5th in the U.S., as one of Playboy's annual Top Party schools!....5,000 self-proclaimed 'tea baggers' marched on the Capitol, in protest of high taxes. Not knowing what the term 'tea baggers' may refer to, these are the same self-righteous folks that marched against the recent Gay marriage voter initiatives!....After the Gilbert Unified School Board spent many months researching teen sleep patterns, saving money is more important than learning, so they decided to keep school start times as they are, and that 1st period math class will remain the optimum time for student to sleep!
Epilogue: Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way. The other is to let her have it! - Lyndon Baines Johnson
Az I Use It....
- It's not too late! Dine at Christo's Ristorante(6327 N. 7th St., Phoenix), order the Ricotta-stuffed Penne, with chicken, and basil pesto sauce($18.95), and 1/2 the proceeds will be donated to Waste Not - an organization that collects unserved restaurant left-overs, and gives it to those who need it most! My 'Guys Night Out' group loved it!
Offer good thru April 30th.
- Washington still does not get it! People cannot afford automobiles at such inflated prices! American consumers are underemployed, yet are being asked to invest in 'green' transportation - at outrageous extra premiums, as well! By the way - an investment is something that should increase in value. Automobiles typically depreciate in value, and the extra premiums will most likely not be recouped through gasoline savings during the lifespan of the vehicle.
- The Smart Car has performed very badly in head-on crash tests with mid-sized cars. Mid-sized cars are now what we used to refer to as 'compact.' Read about the results in 'Smart Cars are for Dummies!'
- 'If you don't like the way I drive, then get off of the sidewalk!' - Phyllis
Offer good thru April 30th.
- Washington still does not get it! People cannot afford automobiles at such inflated prices! American consumers are underemployed, yet are being asked to invest in 'green' transportation - at outrageous extra premiums, as well! By the way - an investment is something that should increase in value. Automobiles typically depreciate in value, and the extra premiums will most likely not be recouped through gasoline savings during the lifespan of the vehicle.
- The Smart Car has performed very badly in head-on crash tests with mid-sized cars. Mid-sized cars are now what we used to refer to as 'compact.' Read about the results in 'Smart Cars are for Dummies!'
- 'If you don't like the way I drive, then get off of the sidewalk!' - Phyllis
Adz I Need It....
Jeannie's Blind Repair - 9241 N. 6th St., Phx., Az.(se corner 6th st. & E. Hatcher) 602 - 274 - 5160
Hot sun peeping through your bedroom window? Is it WAAAAY past time to have that window-blind repaired? Call on Jeannie - and she'll even call on you! That's right - either bring the blinds to her, or she'll make a house call, to repair your vertical, mini, pleated, Vertiglides, shutters, or 2" wooden blinds.
Expert, convenient repair - at affordable prices! I'm glad I called - now I can get some sleep! 602 - 274 - 5160
Hot sun peeping through your bedroom window? Is it WAAAAY past time to have that window-blind repaired? Call on Jeannie - and she'll even call on you! That's right - either bring the blinds to her, or she'll make a house call, to repair your vertical, mini, pleated, Vertiglides, shutters, or 2" wooden blinds.
Expert, convenient repair - at affordable prices! I'm glad I called - now I can get some sleep! 602 - 274 - 5160
Az I Teach It....
- Arizona State University President Michael Crowe has informed President Obama that if he wishes to receive an honorary degree, he must first pass the AIMS tests!
- Sen. McCain said that he has given commencement addresses at many places, and often is not conferred a degree. Well, he hasn't ever been the President of the United States, either!
- More than 5,000 Arizona public school teachers, and two(2) administrators, have been notified that they will be laid-off at the end of the current school year, due to massive budget deficits, unless federal stimulus money is appropriated to save their jobs. A recent survey shows that Arizona ranks among the lowest states in personal income taxes. You get what you pay for!
- Arizona universities are about to pare the AIMS Scholarship Award program, in order to continue to pay their athletic coaches the millions of dollars that they deserve. Eligible students will have to achieve greater success on the AIMS tests, and will receive only one-half the previous full-tuition award, or approximately $3,000.
- Wouldn't you like to say this to the parents, at conference:
1. Your child has delusions of adequacy!
2. Your child has been working with glue too much!
3. Your child sets low personal standards, and then consistently fails to achieve them!
- Sen. McCain said that he has given commencement addresses at many places, and often is not conferred a degree. Well, he hasn't ever been the President of the United States, either!
- More than 5,000 Arizona public school teachers, and two(2) administrators, have been notified that they will be laid-off at the end of the current school year, due to massive budget deficits, unless federal stimulus money is appropriated to save their jobs. A recent survey shows that Arizona ranks among the lowest states in personal income taxes. You get what you pay for!
- Arizona universities are about to pare the AIMS Scholarship Award program, in order to continue to pay their athletic coaches the millions of dollars that they deserve. Eligible students will have to achieve greater success on the AIMS tests, and will receive only one-half the previous full-tuition award, or approximately $3,000.
- Wouldn't you like to say this to the parents, at conference:
1. Your child has delusions of adequacy!
2. Your child has been working with glue too much!
3. Your child sets low personal standards, and then consistently fails to achieve them!
Az I Play It....
- Robert Sarver, majority owner of the Phoenix Suns, is a front-runner for the annual Dan Majerle 'Hustle' Award. His most notable achievements, during the 2008-09 season: disproving the theory that a team with a 'big man' will win a championship, as Shaquille O'Neal had one of his better statistical seasons, yet the Suns did not even make the playoffs - a first for O'Neal!
Sarver's main accomplishment was to 'hustle' the thousands of season-ticket holders into believing that it was not necessary to play team defense in order for the franchise to make $millions$, and that Amare Stoudemire is the team's most valuable asset, discounting a previous opportunity to obtain Kevin Garnett for Amare, while keeping Shawn Marion. Garnett may win his second consecutive championship, and Amare is still counting his $millions$!
Sarver's main accomplishment was to 'hustle' the thousands of season-ticket holders into believing that it was not necessary to play team defense in order for the franchise to make $millions$, and that Amare Stoudemire is the team's most valuable asset, discounting a previous opportunity to obtain Kevin Garnett for Amare, while keeping Shawn Marion. Garnett may win his second consecutive championship, and Amare is still counting his $millions$!